How to Approach Dating as a Modern Muslim
A modern Muslim is a self-assured person who knows what they want.
A modern Muslim is a self-assured person who knows what they want. They are more than just their faith. They’re just as vital to society as other sectors, regardless of the hats they wear in their lives. And since they’re part of society, they get to date around just as much as other people. Is that a bad thing? We say: absolutely not! If other folks are doing it, why can’t they?
If you think Muslims don’t date, think again. The ever-rising popularity of dating apps has made dating more convenient on their end, especially now that we’re still in a pandemic. Why bother doing meet-cutes when you can meet someone online, right? Not only is it less awkward, but it’s 100% safer nowadays too. Trust us—true love doesn’t need you catching a life-threatening virus!
Our first-ever blog post discusses approaching the dating world as a modern Muslim. If you’re someone who has yet to dip their toes into the dating pool, don’t worry. We won’t judge you for holding back. If anyone does, they need to mind their own business. Consider this entry as your guide to dating around. And for the hijab-wearing ladies, you don’t need to take yours off for this one.
1. Don’t settle for less
People usually put this advice last, but we think it’s better if you hear this one first. Some people tend to overlook this old nugget.
Dating sites offer lovestruck singles endless options. Who knows—the love of your life may be a thousand miles and a swipe away! Exciting, right? We totally understand the thrill. But as fun as that sounds, the wide dating pool may be puzzling. Where do you even begin?
Start by reminding yourself that you’re worth more than an afterthought or a leftover. Don’t desperately throw yourself into the arms of your first match just because no one else bothered to swipe right at your picture. You deserve to be someone’s primary option.
2. Find your voice
This is your dating life, after all. No one should be in the driver’s seat here except you. It wouldn’t do if someone else calls the shots now, would it? A fine line exists between friendly suggestions and unsolicited advice. The former’s all fine and good, but the latter screams invasion of personal space.
Should a well-meaning family member or friend barge in with the unnecessary barbs, just smile and wave. Take a cue from the Penguins of Madagascar below.
In all seriousness, politely decline and rebuff their suggestions and explain why you’re marching to the beat of your own drum.
Don’t box yourself and stick with your family’s expectations as well. Sure, they want what’s best for you (as every family should!), but that shouldn’t come at the expense of your happiness. After all, you’re a modern Muslim, so go ahead and get what you want.
3. Don’t pressure yourself
According to a 2010 Journal of Muslim Mental Health survey, a quarter of Muslim American singles (male and female) admitted that they wanted to look for soulmates. That shouldn’t be surprising to any of us—all of us want to love and be loved.
With that said, though, don’t pressure yourself to find The One right off the bat. Is your current match not up to your standards? That’s okay—we’re sure you’ll find better ones, so please don’t rush! Love’s not a race (as corny as that sounds), so just take your time and enjoy yourselves. Don’t cave into peer pressure because nothing good will ever come out of that. Dating won’t be what it is without a bit of fun, and it won’t do if you’re on self-imposed deadlines.
4. Don’t force things
Yes, love’s a beautiful feeling. It’s always great to have another person in your corner, especially when everything seems to suck. However, this doesn’t mean you should force yourself to find a partner immediately, nor should you do things you don’t want to do.
What are we getting at? Forcing things won’t make for a good and genuine relationship. If you feel things are going nowhere with your match, cut things off while you still can. Don’t feel anything for the person? Spare the poor soul from misery and let them know. Don’t wait for things to get messy. We promise you—you won’t regret your decision. Your happiness matters more than a fairy tale love story coming true.
5. Got standards? Don’t lower them
Some people tend to blur preferences and standards into a singular line. The thing is, there’s a difference: the former is all aesthetics and quirks (hint: likes), while the latter leans more towards a requirement. Still confused? Here’s an example: let’s say you’re a sucker for men who are 5’6” and above. However, you won’t give guys who can’t stand your independence a second thought.
It’s no secret that everyone has types. We’ve got ours, and we’re sure that a modern Muslim like yourself has yours. And although we don’t always end up with our preferences all the time (there’s a reason opposites attract!), that doesn’t mean you should lower your standards. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
6. Set safe spaces
We can’t emphasize this enough: boundaries matter! Safe spaces are non-negotiable, regardless of demographic. Since dating apps (and, by extension, the internet) can get pretty unpredictable, you can never be too careful with who you interact with. Who knows—your current match may have something sinister up their sleeves!
Don’t hesitate to ask (appropriate) questions. This lets you know the pushable buttons from the no-nos. If you catch red flags, remove yourself from your conversation and don’t look back. Report any offensive content from your match, should they send some to you. Dating is supposed to be an enjoyable ride, not a traumatic experience.
We hope our approaches can help a modern Muslim like you out in the dating field. It can get scary at first (especially for the shy types), but it doesn’t have to be a nightmarish experience. Whether you find the love of your life online or not, don’t get too down in the dumps because you tried. And that alone is enough.
Want to try your luck at online dating? Get in on the action by signing up for TrulyMuslim! Click the banner above to get started.
